Wednesday, September 15, 2010

And Now, For Your Reading Pleasure, Superhero Bobblehead Reveiws Four Children's Books


   Per the request of one of my most adamant supporters, Silly Old Bum, who's content is both informative and pleasing to the eye, I am going to recommend some books that can be enjoyed by both adults and children alike.

Bitches don't know 'bout my Clockdog
   One of the paramount children's books of all time has to be The Phantom Tollbooth, but don't let the "children's" thing scare you away. This Book is like an acid trip through musicland, seriously reads like it's a second cousin to Yellow Submarine. There's so much fucking imagery in this book that, if read aloud to your child, you find yourselves both transported to the same fantasy world.

   protip: Smoke some weed or have a couple of cocktails and mimic the characters voices as you read it to a small child, shit's fun, yo.




                                                       

"Does my face make my face look scary?"

   Okay, I know what you're thinking; "Clive Barker? Who the fuck is going to read to their kids some shit that was written by  the master of modern horror?". The obvious answer to that is: You, you sick fuck. Mr. Barker is, in fact, a fantastic writer of children's suspense, providing vivid imagery, and fantastic over the top characters that can range from the magical, to the mundane, to the downright fucking frightening. But the story is great, kind of like The Puppet Master meets Peter Pan (but without the brutal, yet comic, murder sequences).

   protip: Do not read this to a child under 8 years old before bed.


   Oh, Terry. It's a shame that he's suffering from Alzheimer's disease, he really is the best. Anyway, The Wee Free Men is a book about Pictsies (Not bloody Pixies, ya wanker!). Pictsies are these little blue, kilt waring, hard drinking, hard fighting, sheep stealing, prank playing assholes who befriend a little girl who happens to be an outcast and aspiring witch. Little girl is threatened by a beautiful, all powerful fairy queen type character and summons magical skill and the aid of the little fucking Irish hooligan bastards to save the day. Laughs ensue. Serious. protip: Fuck the kids, read this shit yourself it's great.


I'll round this out with another from Barker. Did you know that Clive Barker can paint? Well he can! ...and he did. This book is full of wacky (verging on psycho) illustrations from the masters hand. I was fortunate enough to pick this book up second hand about a year ago, and I loved it. Barker puts together  a world with characters that are easily identifiable to any child, while simultaneously skull-fucking YOU, the adult, with allegory and commentary on today's Social-global dynamic. ...asshole.  Basic premise is this: Small town girl (living in a lonely world) finds an escape to the world of the Abarat, which is a sea with twenty four islands, each island exists eternally in a corresponding hour of the day, and is left to her own devices. Like Labyrinth meets, well... ...it's like Labyrinth, but different okay?

   So there you go. Yes adults can read children's books and enjoy them greatly. So don't be a dick, read to your goddamn kids, or nieces or nephews, read to your little bratty fucking brother or sister. That shit's important and you'll both be better for it.




53 comments:

  1. hey man, hope your day was better than mine with one of my dogs dying.

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  2. Thanks for the reviews! I really like the cover art on the first book

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  3. i laughed pretty hard at clock dog haha

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  4. I'm quite the Terry Pratchett fan! nice reviews

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  5. cool!supportin bro :)

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    check also this to find new interesting blogs to luv daily

    thefuckinlist.blogspot.com

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  6. Mr. Bobblehead..its okay, the smart ones will survive. So it's nice that you post books good for young kids :)

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  7. Awesome stuff here. I had NO idea Barker wrote... Also, holy hell 2-3 a week? I WISH I had the time to do that.

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  8. LOVE the phantom tollbooth, nostalgia'ing hard :)

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  9. love terry pratchett he is truly an amazing author.

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  10. I love these book reviews!!!!!! thanks bro.
    The Phantom Tollbooth :O i don't know Steve Jobs has a clockdog..it's so cool..
    i think i'll read the last one..24 islands sounds cool..better then The Lost.

    <3
    Sillyoldbum

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  11. Dope ass blog, been looking for interesting reads.

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  12. I'm glad to see you're beating inertia today.

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  13. Hahaha, there's some messed up children books ^^

    Keep up the good work!

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  14. The phantom tollbooth is a great book :-)
    supporting daily :-)

    http://marvelsofthenow.blogspot.com/

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  15. haha great and funny reviews as always. But where's my Turkish bath house?

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  16. Tornado Jackson here. It's written with the blog form in mind, but I'd be honored to have you review it.

    /sycophancy

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  17. For me Clive Barker actually brings good childhood memories...

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  18. A couple of one's I hadn't heard of, more amazing books to add to the 'to be read list'. Many thanks for your astounding blog.

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  19. your posts keep getting better and better!

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  20. thank you for no bath house. i havent read the phantom tollbooth since third grade, but i think i'll look for it at the library now.

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  21. Showing my daily support. Fight the power.

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  22. You have a good point there. I still have my books from my childhood, and I guess I should open them up and take a look one of these days.

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  23. Clive Barker writing children's stories? Now I have heard of everything.

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  24. I was promised a Turkish bath house!!

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  25. thanks man... good

    supporting
    follow back
    http://bloginarms.blogspot.com

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  26. SO MANY GOOD BOOKS. NO TIME TO READ.

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  27. "Bitches don't know 'bout my Clockdog"

    Genuinely lol'd.

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  28. thanks for these reviews, i'll recommend a few to my niece

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  29. Nice rewiev man, you really put some effort to it. I like fantasy books the best

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  30. Great books and great blog! Keep up the good work

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  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  32. showin my daily support, keep up the great posts and hit me back =)

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  33. Doing my daily blog support runs. Dropping by to give some love. Hit me back.

    Ciao,

    http://ye-yepop.blogspot.com/

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  34. definitely gotta check these out

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  35. oh yea love me some terry pratchett, you got my support

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Be nice ya bastards!