And Now, For Your Reading Pleasure, Superhero Bobblehead Reveiws Four Children's Books

   Per the request of one of my most adamant supporters, Silly Old Bum, who's content is both informative and pleasing to the eye, I am going to recommend some books that can be enjoyed by both adults and children alike.

Bitches don't know 'bout my Clockdog

   One of the paramount children's books of all time has to be The Phantom Tollbooth, but don't let the "children's" thing scare you away. This Book is like an acid trip through musicland, seriously reads like it's a second cousin to Yellow Submarine. There's so much fucking imagery in this book that, if read aloud to your child, you find yourselves both transported to the same fantasy world.

   protip: Smoke some weed or have a couple of cocktails and mimic the characters voices as you read it to a small child, shit's fun, yo.

                                                       

"Does my face make my face look scary?"

   Okay, I know what you're thinking; "Clive Barker? Who the fuck is going to read to their kids some shit that was written by  the master of modern horror?". The obvious answer to that is: You, you sick fuck. Mr. Barker is, in fact, a fantastic writer of children's suspense, providing vivid imagery, and fantastic over the top characters that can range from the magical, to the mundane, to the downright fucking frightening. But the story is great, kind of like The Puppet Master meets Peter Pan (but without the brutal, yet comic, murder sequences).

   protip: Do not read this to a child under 8 years old before bed.

   Oh, Terry. It's a shame that he's suffering from Alzheimer's disease, he really is the best. Anyway, The Wee Free Men is a book about Pictsies (Not bloody Pixies, ya wanker!). Pictsies are these little blue, kilt waring, hard drinking, hard fighting, sheep stealing, prank playing assholes who befriend a little girl who happens to be an outcast and aspiring witch. Little girl is threatened by a beautiful, all powerful fairy queen type character and summons magical skill and the aid of the little fucking Irish hooligan bastards to save the day. Laughs ensue. Serious. protip: Fuck the kids, read this shit yourself it's great.

I'll round this out with another from Barker. Did you know that Clive Barker can paint? Well he can! ...and he did. This book is full of wacky (verging on psycho) illustrations from the masters hand. I was fortunate enough to pick this book up second hand about a year ago, and I loved it. Barker puts together  a world with characters that are easily identifiable to any child, while simultaneously skull-fucking YOU, the adult, with allegory and commentary on today's Social-global dynamic. ...asshole.  Basic premise is this: Small town girl (living in a lonely world) finds an escape to the world of the Abarat, which is a sea with twenty four islands, each island exists eternally in a corresponding hour of the day, and is left to her own devices. Like Labyrinth meets, well... ...it's like Labyrinth, but different okay?

   So there you go. Yes adults can read children's books and enjoy them greatly. So don't be a dick, read to your goddamn kids, or nieces or nephews, read to your little bratty fucking brother or sister. That shit's important and you'll both be better for it.