Friday, September 17, 2010

The Nymphos of Rocky Flats (No, wait! Come back...)

I got nothing on this one. ...nothing.
   Do you like vampires but you're sick and tired of the flaming homosexuality and general emo attitude of every single goddamn modern vampire mythos out there today? Well, have I got the book for you!

  Our hero is Felix Gomez, (a beaner? No wai!) an Iraqi war veteran-turned-vampire. But instead of despising his vampire nature and getting all weepy like a bitch the whole time, Felix embraces the fact that he's on top of the food chain and proceeds to be a skull crunchingly badass motherfucker. Having only been a vampire for a short time, and beating the fuck out of anything that looks at him wrong, he's recognized by the Arenium, which is sort of like the vampire U.N., and is quickly recruited as a curb stomping enforcer of vampire law.

   Ultimately, cool shit happens, asses are thoroughly dryfucked by the vampire cock of justice, and all is right with the world. 

    Now, I lurk the fantasy/Sci-fi section of bookstores like newfags need to lurk image based message boards, and I had spent about three years patently avoiding this book. Walking past it, seeing it sitting there in the "A" section as I look for books by Robert Asprin, Douglas Adams, Isaac Asimov, and occasionally Piers Anthony. ...mocking me. My eye would be drawn to this book time and time again, and I would ignore it time and time again. Until one day, when I had nothing else that I felt like reading and it was on sale. I cursed myself, grabbed the book, and covered my face while I was standing in line to hide my shame.

   What I would've never guessed was how much I was going to LOVE this book, and for the most part every subsequent book in the series thus far.

   Judgment: Buy this book, shit's fun to read, yo.



"You want I...     ...zcrub ya dick?

85 comments:

  1. A meximelt Iraqi war vet vampire?
    Sometimes I wonder how people come up with this stuff..

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  2. cool!supportin bro :)

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    check also this to find new interesting blogs to luv daily

    thefuckinlist.blogspot.com

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  3. You're a very talented writer, great review! You had me captured with the first line :3

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  4. Holy shit son, you read at the speed of light, don't you? I may check this one out, should my local library carry it. Paying for books is not something I usually do. :p

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  5. soo..is that last picture the Turkish Bath House?

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  6. i dont read many books, but if i like something i will read it :P

    followin :P

    visit my place

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  7. that is not a weird picture lol

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  8. @lastpicture

    wat?

    lol funny stuff. definitely checking out this blog in the future

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  9. honestly, I'm tired of the whole vampire craze all together

    http://wordofdodd.blogspot.com/

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  10. Hmm, well the review was tl;dr, might later.
    That picture though... By the time I stopped looking at it I probably could've read the review lol.

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  11. Three paragraphs is tl;dr? Tha fuck. just spam me bro, it's easier.

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  12. Really? Hahaha, that might be the only Vampire book worth reading =P

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  13. it looks like you're headed in the right direction with this post...

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  14. World wide curb stomping? or limited locations?

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  15. FFS, I wish I had the time to read..

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  16. hopefully this book will redeem vampires

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  17. thanks I'll have to check this one out! been looking for a good vampire book

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  18. non-faggish vampires? if i see it someday, i might aquire it.

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  19. aw gross pic dude!
    and i find these vampires to be faggish as well..
    After twilight all vampires seem gay unfortunately..

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  20. ahha seems like a fucking great book.

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  21. nice post!
    i like your blog!
    supportin ;)

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  22. Sounds awesome, I love vampire fiction, but am so tired of this romantic faggoty crap, this sounds great. Looks like I need to get back into reading!

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  23. Sweeet, I wanna read more books. I wish I spent more time reading. :/

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  24. the title reminded my of the movie "lesbian vampire killers"

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  25. Nice post, your blog always has interesting stuff!
    supportin' and followin'
    http://thespyisaspy.blogspot.com

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  26. Bhaahah the extent we go for money these days. Insane.

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  27. looks like a good read! ill head to the bookstore..

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  28. Sounds like it has a lot of potential.

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  29. rofl ^^ ... the pic.
    I will follow you ;)

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  30. Finally, a book about real vampires, instead of vegetarian angels with fangs...

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  31. Great blog, man!

    Hope you`ll check out mine as well.

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  32. I'm lovin' your blog, as usual.

    http://tornadojackson.blogspot.com/

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  33. Great post!
    looking forward to reading the next one

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  34. nice but i dont reead the books

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  35. I'll try find the book to read, i'll most likely get my girlfriend to read it not me.

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  36. Gonna have to head over to Barnes & Noble to check this shit out...

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  37. saved the last pic and love your blog title :D

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  38. nice dude!


    foreelz.blogspot.com please follow, comment, and click!

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  39. http://easycents.blogspot.com/

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  40. Graces her subjects, and her thoughts the king. Supporting!

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Be nice ya bastards!